How to Tell a Girl You Cant Wait O See Her Again and Not Be Weird

 Written by Writer'southward Corps fellow member Emily Desanctis

Disappointing someone is tough. Most of us will do somersaults to avoid the uncomfortable interaction of telling someone the opposite of what they want to hear, particularly when it involves romantic feelings.

When you really care about someone, it's as well equally hard to be on the receiving end of "I'm not looking for a human relationship correct now." Keeping the following tips in heed will assist you deliver the news in a way that's every bit healthy and painless as possible, for anybody involved.

Define the dynamic upfront

The best way to approach this topic is early. Whether you're looking for something casual and desire to continue it that way, or whether you're not interested in anything at all, clarifying this from the beginning helps avert defoliation and awkward conversations subsequently on.

Certain, over time your feelings may change—and then might this other person'southward—but starting out the give-and-take from an honest identify grounded by how you feel in the present is a must.

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Express The State of affairs In Terms Of Your Feelings And Needs

Forget personal insults, apologies, or blame; instead be honest and straight with how y'all feel, what you need, and how that isn't aligned with being in a relationship. For instance, maybe you're feeling overwhelmed with classes and yous need to focus on your schoolwork; or maybe you lot're feeling excited and curious about existence newly unmarried and you demand some time to explore and figure out what you really want without making any commitments.

Any the state of affairs, focusing on feelings and needs volition help forbid information technology from escalating into an argument. It may be that this other person'southward feelings and needs are in direct opposition to yours, and that's perfectly okay. As long as they're stating these in a not-accusatory fashion that doesn't minimize your needs, hear them out while staying truthful to what's correct for you.

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Explicate Your Perspective—To A Point

Choosing not to exist in a relationship is a personal choice—a liberty that you shouldn't have to defend or over-explicate. You could exit it at that or you could go into more detail, helping the other person understand your perspective.

In some cases, taking time to explain how you feel can assistance them better accept your decision and move on. It tin can too communicate a caste of respect and care for their feelings. However, talking through your perspective is only helpful to a betoken—equally long as you're comfy and the conversation is healthy. If it shifts into unhealthy territory where the other person is trying to alter your listen or make y'all feel bad, for example blaming or guilting yous for your decision, end the chat.

Be Kind And Unapologetic

Deciding y'all don't want to be in a relationship—whether with a specific person or in general—doesn't mean you take to turn into a cold, unfeeling person when you limited how y'all experience.  Part of being mature is having conversations you lot don't want to accept in a way that respects yourself and the other person involved.

If the other person tells you in a salubrious way that they're bummed at your 'no', you could express understanding for their reaction and regret at their injure feelings. But be conscientious to draw the line at taking the blame; for example, if they say "I can't believe you would exercise this to me. You knew how much it would injure me, and you did it anyhow" or something to this effect that blames you lot for non getting what they want. Your needs are e'er valid and taking care of yourself is something you should never have to apologize for or be made to feel bad virtually.

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We're all used to movies showing united states of america that 'no' is simply an opening for an unwanted however persistent suitor to make their instance and change your mind. Even though it's portrayed as heart-thumpingly romantic, this behavior actually signals that someone doesn't respect your boundaries, and therefore is non something you want to encourage or accept if y'all want to have a good for you relationship.

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Maybe yous will eventually want a relationship with this person, and you'll end upwards together. Or maybe y'all'll realize it also late later they've already moved on with someone else. Or maybe you won't ever give them a second idea. Y'all can't predict what you're going to desire in the future and with whom. All you have to go on is how yous feel and what you need today. If y'all focus on doing what's right for you lot at this moment, your decision—and how to express it—volition reveal itself conspicuously.

Learn more tips on how to let someone down easy or other healthy relationship advice on the One Love web log.

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Source: https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/how-to-tell-someone-youre-not-looking-for-a-relationship/

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